Girl, Sit Your Dumb Ass Down

10 Reason You Might Need To Put Your P*ssy On A Pedastal

* Because you feel a need to embarass yourself, your family, your race and gender by appearing on Maury multiple times to find your baby daddy even though you are 3000075000021213213149873214% sure that HE is the daddy err time .

* You can’t remember the names of the men you’ve slept with don’t let these ninjas have you thinking its okay to do what they do…hoes get f*cked, not taken home to meet the parentsand have to check phone records and text messages to determine who you was with and when

* When all your kids are together, it looks like the “We Are The World” video *RIP MJ*side eye at this ghetto arse reference to the greatest.

* You are the young bish in the club begging and booty tooting for free drinks

* You are now the old bish in the club begging and booty tootin for free drinks

* You constantly complaining about the ninjas running in and out your life and your p*ssy, but you always crying about being alone

* Every date you go on requires knee pads and the Morning After Pill…if this is you, you’s a nasty bish and your p*ssy needs a vacation…on top of a pedastal preferrably til you learn how to respect it

* You get the D on a regular, but your lights are bout to get cut off and your rent is late. I’m not saying sell your arse but time is money and my sugar walls don’t get moist when I’m laying on my back wondering if the sheriff is going to forcibly assist me in moving at anytime.

* Ninjas know your arse when they see it, but not your face (Girl you a tip drill, you a tip drill – Billy)

* Every time the Pastor get to referencing hoes for an altar call, you the first one crying and running down there…err Sunday. Okay, clearly my Jesus is doing His part…please do yours and get your isht together….I’m bout tied of seeing you crying in your club dress and 5 inch neon green stilettos at the altar…this isht is ri-d*mn-diculous

If one or more of these points have struck a nerve, please find the nearest pedastal and cop a squat on it IMMEDIATELY. You do not have time to waste. I know you wondering, “But Favor, what is I’m gone do about my hoe ways?” Well, why you marinate and brainstorm on your transgressions, I’ma get on researching 10 Ways To Keep Your P*ssy On A Pedastal for next week. I gotta research cause my p*ssy is on a pedastal always.

Yo sister in Christ,



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Why You Gotta Be Bringing Up Old Shit???

July 2009
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