15
Jul
09

Girl, Sit Your Dumb Ass Down

Recession Vacation

It is that time of year where people are booed up and decide its time to take their love on the road to some blue waters, cheap by-the-hour motel rooms sands, parks or outside concerts. Summer is a time to celebrate your new side piece, summer fling new found love and let the world know this is your boo at least til the summer is over. However, we are currently (slowly) creeping out of a recession and even though gas isn’t $4 a gallon, ends just don’t stretch like they use to. Since I didn’t qualify for a stimulus check this year, I’ve had to search high and low for new and creative ways to stay on unemployment relax, relate and release this summer. So me being the highly favored, innovative individual that I am, I heads for the innanet and what do I embark on?

An excellent lil bed and breakfast…(I love spas and places to relax that are quiet, calm and near the best high end shoe and purse stores…LV anyone?) in Hillsboro, MO…at the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Department. *PAUSE POLICE* Yeah, you read right. According to the Associated Press, real people do real thangs in eastern Missouri too. They have got to pay for some brand new mattresses for the inmates God forbid these thieves sleep on a worn out mattress, wth? in their newly renovated addition to the jail. So for $90 a couple or $50 a single you can get a one night stay, a conjugal visit get your role play on Mrs./Mr. Officer if you so desire, an a t-shirt and complimentary mug shots to commemorate your cheap arse stay. If you decide to leave when the motion lotion runs out early, you’ll have to pay an additional $10 for a “get out of jail free” card. All in all you are vacaying and funding a good cause. <= *4-eyed side eye*

Now I'm all for supporting a good cause but please know that Favor is not a cheap chick (see sideline ho, side piece, jumpoff, cheap bish, easily impressed) and therefore I require a certain amount of thought put into any date or gift. I'd rather go to a park and eat off the kids menu at Chili's than pull up to a motherfatherin jail for a night out on my back on Cell Block D . I don’t wish a ninja would…I pray a ninja never will cause I promise the only motion he gone get with some lotion is gone be his own I will never have my sugar walls beat down in a prison…the devil is a liar!.

Word to the wise, even if they are just a jumpoff, summer fling or a potential mate…please put a lil thought into your getaway. Staycations are in, Southwest always dinging me with deals that I can’t d*mn afford ret now….d*mn I need a boo, heck a bus trip to the casino cost $5 if you into that…you might even win a free night stay in that piece! Please don’t go out like my man #9, don’t be trickin if you ain’t got it or don’t want to spend it (in his case).

-Favor Really Isn’t Fair, Deal With It!

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