Girl Sit Your Dumb Ass Down

Stop Lying, You Don’t Want The Truth Series

Part 1: Do Chicks Really Want The Truth?

*Starts music, lights candle, lights incense, fluffs popcorn and sticks feet in foot soak* Let’s eavesdrop on CC and UOB’s conversation:

CluelessChick: Baby, we need to talk.

UnOfficialBoo: *thinking aww shat, my emo free p*ssy bout to come to an end* About what?

CC: About us, we been friends with benefits, free arse w/no commitment “kicking it” for a minute and you haven’t said anything about me being your official chick. I mean, how you feel about me?

UOB: We good…you straight. You are a good girl and a cool person to be with. We good friends.

CC: *thinking wtf* We good friends? We been sleeping together for __ months; what you talking about good friends? Is that all I am to you?

UOB: I just want to take it slow and get to know you. You know, see where this goes. I don’t want to rush anything. I got other members of the dream team, $$$ to get, fame to claim before I make my final choice.

CC: Oh okay. As long as I know where we stand, I’m cool. Still confused as hell

UOB: *thinking emo free p*ssy still in rotation*

*Mentally runs out of clueless chick scene before the stupid bish stick is pointed my way accidentally*


Ladies, how many times have you heard your girl recall a stupid arse conversations like the one above? I know you probably got to take a track out your hair (don’t do it cause my sewing game is not up to par and I can’t sew “Every girl in the world”) and use the strands to count the endless text messages, FB statuses, Twitter messages and emails over what her “unofficial” boo said last night. Fellas, I know you have had a good belly laugh a many of day over the chicks that have continued to fall on their knees and slob on the knob fell for this vague, elusive, say nothing line “I just want to take it slow and get to know you; you know, see where this goes. I don’t want to rush anything.” or a variation of it. Now I know where you think this post is headed…a male bashing session. Nall I don’t roll like that (I’m into specific male bashing)…you know I ,<3 yall! So lets get it in!

First and foremost she f*cked up when she said, "We need to talk." I believe people men in general go on defense mode when they hear this statement. Its like no matter what comes after those 4 words, (I hit the lottery, I’m pregnant, I got fired) that statement alone promotes strategy and planning for whatever is coming next. Anybody dating, “in a situation”, pre-boo status, “just talking” or whatever the hell you want to call it when you are in transition from friends to official boo status, knows that the “talk” is coming. You must find a better way to address this transition without using this statement. I’m a no nonsense girl that likes to get to the point, but in a soft way. I got a big ego but I’m sensitive too 😉 I would come at the situation like, “I enjoy spending time with you and I’m interested in being more than friends/casually dating with you. How do you feel about that?” That’s not a new way of your expressing yourself, just a different approach from the usual. It keeps the power kind of balanced. If he says he just wants to keep things the way they are, the ball is back in your court to either roll with it or roll the f*ck out. If he says lets make this thang official… do the dang thang then! Either way, it throws the power back your way and kind of limits potential bruising of the ego (check-mate!).

Since UnOfficialBoo said, “I just want to take it slow and get to know you…You know, see where this goes…BLAH BLAH BLAH”, that’s what the f*ck he means! Bish are you slow? He is not playing hard to get, he wants to keep getting it the way he getting it with no strings attached right now. Or (in the fella’s defense) he really does want to take it slow and get to know you *PAUSE POLICE* <- I wonder did UOB have this epiphany before OR after he hit the sugar walls and was feeling on CC's lady lumps?

If you are not willing to "take it slow" and "see where this goes" with him, keep that shat moving! Its really that simple. Its nobody's fault but your dumb arse for staying in a situation that you are not comfortable with. I shed no tears for your selective hearing loss. If you looking for a commitment you need to state your case. Closed mouths do not get fed (and I hear without "Becky" there is no pipe-laying either…but I digress) and I'm pretty sure he is not a mind reader. If he is, that's some shat I am not familiar with and I really need you to educate me in the comments section. Ladies, stop being afraid of the inevitable. I'd rather get my ego bruised a lil bit now versus sitting around playing boo boo the fool for months or years waiting on you to choose me.

Bur Favor, he got potential (come up potential, husband potential, I-can-sit-on-my-arse-while-he-works-and-not-do-a-d*mn-thing-potential). *long blank stare at your dumb arse* Well, that's a gamble. An if you are willing to roll the dice of life and wait, good luck with that…lol. However, action speaks LOUDER than words. If he said he wasn't ready, and he not making no moves that are indicative of him being ready then umm, I must ask why are you acting like a dumb bish falling in love with the come up? Favor, you ask, what's the come up? That's when you infatuated with what you think a person is going to become versus what they showing you right now. *see Keesha Nichols*

Basically, if you not ready an I am and if I don't feel you worth waiting on, I'ma keep it moving to the next dude.

But since CluelessChick didn't keep her p*ssy on a pedestal like I discussed in a previous post *SMH*, she has already done the do and got her feelings involved. Emotionally she is past the point of no return; its either ride or die. However, if you been in a "situation for 6 months", you sleeping with this person, going out on a regular and you still calling him your " special friend" or "that's my boy" and you think you in a relationship but don't know for sure, you are clearly mistakened and confused. It really doesn't take months/years on end for anyone to know they want to be with you. Think about it, why would someone pass up someone they are interested in for them to get scooped up by another person? I'm very aware of the mentality of getting yourself together financially, personally and professionally before getting booed up…but fellas, lets be real, if you see potential in a chick you still gone get at her, let her know the business and give her the opportunity to hop on the D on a regular come along for the ride if her gangsta match your gangsta. So for CC’s dumb arse: In the future don’t wait till your panties are on the floor and you bout to take the fantasy ride to ask a ninja how he feel about you, where we stand, where is this going…you know stupid arse questions that shoulda been asked (upright, fully clothed) long before you giving him the business. Ladies you know like I know once you start giving up your parts your hearts will follow (I know its some bonified gangsta bishes that love em and leave em…. but I’m not talking to yall) so as Black Bart says, keep it in your pants!

There is nothing wrong with clarification on where you stand with a person. I mean really, if no one says anything, you’ll never know what’s going on. But ultimately, people only treat you how you allow them to. Listen to what they are saying and the actions that go along with it. If you don’t, sit your dumb arse down when shat don’t go your way. You’ve been forewarned.

Peace and blessings,


Next week (for real this time) Part 2: Are you looking for a husband or a sponsor?


12 Responses to “Girl Sit Your Dumb Ass Down”

  1. 1 Sumaya
    August 26, 2009 at 5:57 PM

    I was that “clueless” chick lol, but not anymore.But I don’t hear this much from my friends as I use to..my sister..yes because we had a similar conversation about allowing yourself to be treated any way.
    Now I’m keeping it pimping now because I don’t know I figured out dudes so if they want me they come to me.The dog always chase the cat.

  2. 2 TrueAries
    August 26, 2009 at 6:04 PM

    Preach!!!! Man I have a couple of those friends that be calling me about their situation lol.. I need to pass it on!

  3. 3 damnfools
    August 26, 2009 at 7:03 PM

    Sometimes the dog is busy licking his own balls. Don’t sit down too long.

    Billy Bad Ass

  4. 4 JR
    August 26, 2009 at 7:28 PM

    LMAO! Favor bringing the heat!

  5. 5 favorisntfair
    August 26, 2009 at 8:02 PM

    We must educated the masses one clueless bish at a time 🙂 Once you know better you can do better.

  6. 6 damnfools
    August 26, 2009 at 8:03 PM

    Oh hell nawl. As long as niggas still exist, that statement will be moot.

    -Billy Bad Ass

  7. 7 favorisntfair
    August 26, 2009 at 8:08 PM

    Which one? Cause I said you CAN do better…its not automatic, you got to make a conscious effort to not be CC.

  8. 8 damnfools
    August 26, 2009 at 8:10 PM

    Most of these hoes can’t spell conscious let alone be it.

    -Billy Bad Ass

  9. 9 favorisntfair
    August 26, 2009 at 8:12 PM

    That’s why I have to speak in the manner that I do so even the simpliest broad can understand. I try to be Christ-like (moving from the window as I type

  10. 10 damnfools
    August 26, 2009 at 8:14 PM

    Yes, dumb it down a harlem shake.

    -Billy Bad Ass

  11. 11 favorisntfair
    August 26, 2009 at 8:18 PM


  12. 12 JPeezy
    August 27, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    All true! Wish I had read this about 6 years ago….

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