Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

12
Aug
09

Girl Sit Your Dumb Ass Down

I want to keep it light this week since my b-day is Saturday ( an I got a spa day out of this world planned!) . Here are 15 things (not in any particular things) that I thought I’d never say I couldn’t live without.

1. GNC Megawoman Multivitamins- my energy be on another level w/ these!

2. A nap -d*mn I miss living on campus!

3. Sunscreen (SPF 30 or better baybay! Wrinkle free is for me!)

4. 1000+ thread count Egyptian Cotton Sheets- if you don’t know, get ’em in your life (or bed for that matter) and you’ll sleep like a newborn babe.

5. Quality friends- I went through a me against the world phase; thank God I saw the light…lol.

6. Personalized Fashion Lookbook – your look should be put together, not thrown together or right off the rack…be original w/ your shat!

7. Laughter- I can’t go a day without laughing. It truly soothes the soul. Even if I am sick as a dog I will find something to laugh at (even myself…I’m easily amused. Don’t judge me). I follow folks on twitter just because they go HAM and make my day…ALL DAY!

8. Private time w/ God- there is nothing like meditating and really hearing Him for myself. This also keeps me from putting my salvation on the curb and popping the trunk on these folks that want to try me.
9. Carmex- I don’t care if I got on MAC lipglass, NARS lipgloss or the baddest YSL lipstick combo…carmex takes me higher with the smooth lips beneath the glamorous shades. Crusty, cracked lips +lipstick and/or lipgloss=hot arse mess!

10. Enemies- they stretch my faith in God and motivate me to keep doing what’s right (or whatever’s got them hating and talking cause clearly I’m doing something right if you spending your days and/or nights thinking bout me). I’m always praying for your hating, bitter arse. Love ya more:)

11. Coupons-anyone who knows me is clear on the fact that if there is a coupon,email club, birthday club or savings of any sort for an item, I can find it. (Think I might do a post on being a fashionista on a budget)

12. Common Sense- I have met a lot of stupid bishes w/tons of book sense but they are dumb as a doorknob about life. Common sense is REALLY not that common. It can’t be taught so I praise my cross-bearing Jesus for taking extra special care of babies and fools. If you reading this, you’re not a baby *blank stare at your dumb arse*.

13. Spanx- as a proud, healthier member of the CGWO (Curvy Girls World Order) this keeps the lady lumps in order when the fabric is not forgiving… GLO-RAY!

14. The Power of NO- when I gained this…I became a brand new person! It took a long time to permanently erase the WELCOME sign imprinted on my forehead (along w/ the timberland boot prints of people walking all over my arse too) and integrate the word NO into my vocabulary and the ability to stand firmly behind my decision. I can proudly say I am not a people pleaser for about 6 years strong!

15. Social Networking/Blogs – I have met some of the nicest, kindest people (even though I stay incognegro on them sites…don’t need ninjas stalking me via the innanet) and developed some great friendships, working relationships and partnerships. There are some blogs out here in addition to damnfools (don’t be side eyeing me Billy) that I have to check daily to get my “LOLSmileyface” on (love you Treyz Songz…okay I digress).

So what things can you not live without? Think a lil deeper than the laptop, crackberry or loubou’s you rock. I cooled it off this week but next week… Stop Lying, You Don’t Want The Truth: Part 1- Do Chicks Really Want The Truth?

Favor Really Isn’t Fair, Deal With It!

22
Jul
09

You Look A Damnfool

Here at Damnfools we see a lot of fucknanigans on a daily basis. Just scroll down and you’ll see some prime examples. Well here is your chance to share in the ignance. Show us the daily foolishness in your lives. Send any pictures of Damnfools you encounter to gotdamnfools@gmail.com with the subject line of “You look a damnfool” and let everyone who visits roast them like a campfire smore.

29
May
09

Niggerdom On The Decline


Finally this recession is good for something.  Thanks to declining sales, these rappers have less money for jewrry.  It’s reported that Hip Hop sales are down 20% while Rock sales are only down 6.5%.  It’s my hope that robberies increase for people who still rock that shit when everyone else is broke.  Unfortunately we still have some people engaging in niggardry, says Young Jeezy

The whole recession concept was like, ‘Okay, it’s fucked up out here but we gonna get through it. And here’s some good music to get you through it,'” Jeezy explained. “And everything I’ma give you is gonna be an anthem. I’m not gonna sit here and try to rap you to death. So it wasn’t really like I was gonna sit there and make 18 tracks about the recession. It wouldn’t have made sense.

Yet in your main hit from the album you talk about your Lambo and the matching rims. This is like that nigger who didn’t want to be free when everyone was leaving the plantation, he just ain’t ready.

01
May
09

Niggers No More

nas_kelis

The dream is over. Hip Hop power couple Nas and Kelis are over. Kelis has filed for divorce in LA citing “irreconcilable differences.” My guess is Beyonce put on her grass skirt and danced the marriage apart. No way she was going to let them shine and take attention from her and the Jigga Man. That’s the only thing that would explain leaving someone while you’re seven months pregnant. On the plus side, Kelis’ next album is going to be crack now.

01
May
09

Damn Fool Of The Week

Ok Ok…We’re back ppl…now, all sensitive ppl, leave now…

Now everyone’s aware of the Double Standard, u know, A dude hits a lot of chix, He’s The Man! A girl hits a lot of dudes, She’s A Jump! Yeah I know, it sux, but…thats how it is, and it might be something that NEVER changes…I dont make the rules…I just Re-iterate them!

This segway’s to the subject of this week’s Damn Fool of the Week…Gotta come for my man Ray J.

Dog…yeah u did the right thing pickin Cocktail…one of the baddest on the show…I liked Stacks, Cashmere, A Mute Caviar, and Chardonnay looked like her backshots would NEVER get old! DAMN!

Unique, ok she was pretty kinda…but she looked like an AUNT, AND, if u wife her, and have a baby….DEEEZZZAAAAMMM…cuz shorty is gonna look like she multiplied…def. Big Girl Potential! And umm…yeah at the reunion special…WOW…shorty looked like she trapped a bunch of cats around the way, skinned them…then decided to WEAR them…Chick had 30% of the weave in Compton on her head…F***!

But speakin of the West Coast…the culprit that inspired this Ray J assassination…DANGER! Now shorty wasn’t that bad lookin, even w/the Tatoo, crazy yeah, but that’s not even why I’m comin for her…Now…The fact that she became the subject of everybody’s favorite Facebook Status Update, Song in the shower, or Laundry Tune…”Danger, She Smashed The Homies!”

That’s somethin that I feel some type of way about, but ONLY, if ur close w/the person…Think about it…U hit the girl/guy…and u KNOW that she/he is a Freak, and how they perform…U REALLY want ur boy to know ur girl likes to be handcuffed, or dress up like a Nurse…lol, think about it, at ur wedding, this dude is standin next to u, and u just happen to hear…”Damn, this n**** is REALLY gonna enjoy his honeymoon, DAMN!” NOOOO WAY!…I’d tell the Pastor to stop the wedding, while I knock this MF into the first Pew!

But, thee dagger of the whole thing…DANGER WAS A FORMER PROSTITUTE!!! U know…Hookers at the Point, Paid for sex…Ray!?!?! My man…u realize u prolly kissed 60% of the N***** in the BAY…I mean have u hear E-40 talk? How about Keak The Sneak? And u followin up right behind them…EPIC FAIL!!! AND!!!! This chick was rumored to be Holding YOUR BABY!!!! U know what…I can’t even keep goin dog…U almost PICKED HER??? Please tell me that was a ratings move…HIT THAT CLINIC FAM-LEY!!!! I’m Out!

The Kid

30
Apr
09

Blackberry Boogie

Foxy Brown lives to beat a bitch up another day. The case where she allegedly hit a neighbor with her Blackberry was thrown out. Since there were no papers filed, the case was dismissed. Now hopefully she’ll stick to smacking hoes in nail shops and beauty supply stores. Stay in ya lane Fox, stay in ya lane.

30
Apr
09

Jeezy Catches The Swine Flu

Ok not really but finally some good news when it comes to this epidemic. The Snowman was slated to perform at the University of Delaware today but the performance was canceled. I’m all for the stoppage of the spread of niggardry. Finally this whole thing is good for something, a nigga still better not sneeze on me though.




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