Archive Page 2

22
Jul
09

Girl, Sit Your Dumb Ass Down

Grandma-ma…Sit Your Old Ass Down!

This is clearly what this dumb bish was doing while her 2 year old and 14 year old grandchildren were sitting in the car in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. According to the Associate Press *click here for this trifling arse story*, Grandmama got the urge to play the slots despite the fact that she promised Shay-Shay and nem that she was gone keep the kids so they could go enter the “Booty Dew” contest at the club to win their rent money. So she sashayed her decrepit arse right on down to the Hallandale Beach Casino for a much needed meet and greet at the slots while the precious 2 year old and not-so-bright 14 year old grandchild cause I’m really trying to understand what the f*ck her old arse was sitting in there for were in the car with the window cracked, waiting on her to come out hopefully with some vittles from them cheap buffets those casinos have…so I hear. Fortunately, someone saw them an alerted the Casino security and she is now serving 14 months on house arrest and 3 years probation. This bish still needs her arse whipped repeatedly for leaving them chirren in that hot arse car with no a/c on like some old dogs. I hope Shay-Shay won her rent money and will schedule hitting the booty dew at a more accommodating time. Oh, I forgot, Grandmama got 14 months of free babysitting time now!

Was Grandmama trying to win her tithe money back so she could party with this dude?

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22
Jul
09

You Look A Damnfool

Here at Damnfools we see a lot of fucknanigans on a daily basis. Just scroll down and you’ll see some prime examples. Well here is your chance to share in the ignance. Show us the daily foolishness in your lives. Send any pictures of Damnfools you encounter to gotdamnfools@gmail.com with the subject line of “You look a damnfool” and let everyone who visits roast them like a campfire smore.

20
Jul
09

Now, Was That Really Smart?

See ladies, this is whay happens when you get old, your tatoos do too. She was probably all sexy when she got the Red Queen’s rose garden at 21 but oh how the mighty have fallen. Now she’s a dried out, sunburnt husk and those plants have withered and died. So to that chick who got the eagle on her pussy, you’re going to have a buzzard in 20 years. That butterfly on your back is going to shrivel back up into a caterpillar. Please think before you ink.

20
Jul
09

Finish Her!!!

Well, life happened and we haven’t been updating around here as much as normal. Now that things have slowed down we hope to be bringing you the fuckery on a more regular basis. Large thanks to Favor for holding it down for you dumb broads on Wednesdays. Thanks also to our once in a blue moon visitors who still stop by. Stop being lurkers and say something though, punks.

“Lil Kim got dressed as _______________________________ Barbie for the Mandela Event.”

15
Jul
09

Girl, Sit Your Dumb Ass Down

Recession Vacation

It is that time of year where people are booed up and decide its time to take their love on the road to some blue waters, cheap by-the-hour motel rooms sands, parks or outside concerts. Summer is a time to celebrate your new side piece, summer fling new found love and let the world know this is your boo at least til the summer is over. However, we are currently (slowly) creeping out of a recession and even though gas isn’t $4 a gallon, ends just don’t stretch like they use to. Since I didn’t qualify for a stimulus check this year, I’ve had to search high and low for new and creative ways to stay on unemployment relax, relate and release this summer. So me being the highly favored, innovative individual that I am, I heads for the innanet and what do I embark on?

An excellent lil bed and breakfast…(I love spas and places to relax that are quiet, calm and near the best high end shoe and purse stores…LV anyone?) in Hillsboro, MO…at the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Department. *PAUSE POLICE* Yeah, you read right. According to the Associated Press, real people do real thangs in eastern Missouri too. They have got to pay for some brand new mattresses for the inmates God forbid these thieves sleep on a worn out mattress, wth? in their newly renovated addition to the jail. So for $90 a couple or $50 a single you can get a one night stay, a conjugal visit get your role play on Mrs./Mr. Officer if you so desire, an a t-shirt and complimentary mug shots to commemorate your cheap arse stay. If you decide to leave when the motion lotion runs out early, you’ll have to pay an additional $10 for a “get out of jail free” card. All in all you are vacaying and funding a good cause. <= *4-eyed side eye*

Now I'm all for supporting a good cause but please know that Favor is not a cheap chick (see sideline ho, side piece, jumpoff, cheap bish, easily impressed) and therefore I require a certain amount of thought put into any date or gift. I'd rather go to a park and eat off the kids menu at Chili's than pull up to a motherfatherin jail for a night out on my back on Cell Block D . I don’t wish a ninja would…I pray a ninja never will cause I promise the only motion he gone get with some lotion is gone be his own I will never have my sugar walls beat down in a prison…the devil is a liar!.

Word to the wise, even if they are just a jumpoff, summer fling or a potential mate…please put a lil thought into your getaway. Staycations are in, Southwest always dinging me with deals that I can’t d*mn afford ret now….d*mn I need a boo, heck a bus trip to the casino cost $5 if you into that…you might even win a free night stay in that piece! Please don’t go out like my man #9, don’t be trickin if you ain’t got it or don’t want to spend it (in his case).

-Favor Really Isn’t Fair, Deal With It!

12
Jul
09

Say It Ain’t So, A Special Report

Rumor mill has it that Frankie…Keyshia Cole’s mother, is pregnant. I promise to my everlasting Heavenly Father on high that if this is true, yall gone have to see me on the other side in a PYT video w/MJ,James Brown and Rick James I’m Rich Bish cause this is some straight bullshat! I mean, I’m trying to understand this madness…but my friend said that its the fact that she can take them dentures out and suck a man’s balls through his toes that’s got ’em shook. *shout out to NBA…I’m still recovering from this statement* Fellas, please let me know is this one of the deal breakers that will have you forgetting all about child support payments, pushing strollers at the superbowl and turning in your singles for the strip club for coupons for pullups? What’s really good?

So classy.

-Favor is clearly not fair as shown above please respect it deal with it…SMH

11
Jul
09

I Believe The Children Are The Future

This is why I’m glad we have technology. Imagine my surprise when I’m at my local supermarket shopping for whipped cream and condoms (don’t judge me) when I see a Beyonce in training. Now there’s a chance that the lil girl has Alopecia but we all know that’s not the truth. Somebody forgot to tell Malikah (thanks for tatting that on your arm, made your fuckery easier to identify) that dress up is only appropriate IN the house.




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