Call A Stretcher

This nigga has officially dropped his cereal. He has been doing some questionable things lately but now there is no hope. May his career and his dignity rest in peace.

Let’s Dance, Lets Shout

So here I was watching the Black Embarassment Television awards and wondering, where’s the dance tribute? We all know that Mike wasn’t THAT great of a singer as an adult but as a showman there was none higher. So as I sat and listened to Ciara warble her way through “Heal The World” I’m looking around for C. Beaty or at least Usher to do SOMETHING. Turns out there was controversy in the camp as always. According to Necole Bitchie,

In fact, I hear BET eventually gave him the green light to perform before calling him back with the news that it probably wouldn’t be in their best interest. Why??? Let’s just say, Cover Girl (endorsed by Rihanna) was one of the sponsors of this year’s BET Awards and they threatened they would pull their sponsorship from the Awards show if they allowed Chris to perform.

That sponsor money will always win out in the end. Guess he’ll have to perform “Beat It” on his own time.

Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down

This is the shit that happens when you run your shit. I held off on reporting until some good shit went on. As we’ve been seeing the last few days, celebrity blogger Perez Hilton got his lip split after talking about “Fugly” Fergie. Well Will.i.am’s manager didn’t take too kindly to that and his fist had a meeting with Perez’s face. That was the recap. Now Perez’s bitch ass is suing dude, Polo Molina. I have a new goal for this year.

Step 1. Get invited to a celebrity party.
Step 2. Insult someone famous.
Step 3. Get my ass beat by said famous person.
Step 4. Pay off my student loans.

Don’t judge me.

Girl, Sit Your Dumb Ass Down

Soooo…people in jail got choices now?

Source: 24kcatering.biz

I’m seriously trying to understand when the game changed. I thought prison was punishment; not a not a government paid vacation. So your girl Foxy Brown got more star treatment in jail than she did and still does cause this bish ain’t put out a hit since I was flipping burgers in high school…don’t judge me bastards…I got money. in the public. But hey, I guess it was no reason to bust bishes upside the head with payphones for unlimited phone calls and an unlimited supply of $0.99 wet ‘n’ wild lipstick in baboon pink whoever told her that isht was cute need to kill themselves when you got correctional officers hanging on ya nipples kicking it in your cell and your cellmates setting up photoshoots on cellblock D. Her arse was living the life on our dime and I ain’t seen one motherf*cking hit record yet from arse since she got out. I mean, according to these allegations, this bish well rested so what’s the problem partna? Where else can you get an unlimited supply of Gucci kicks when you get a scuff mark on the pair you rocking? Clearly, only in jail. As much as I love to talk and I can wear the hell out of some Gucci, I think I’ll just stick with my unlimited talk plan with T-Mobile and save my pennies up for Neimans. Well they say these allegations ain’t so in Riker’s but from the look on her face Foxy Brown she misses the good times…wherever they might’ve been. Nonetheless, this isht must be an epidemic cause according to various news sources, Terry Nichols, the convicted Oklahoma City bomb conspirator, is planning a federal lawsuitwith a court-appointed lawyeragainst the federal Supermax prison because he is not getting enough whole grains and fresh food. Ummm, *pause police* where the f*ck they doing that at? So if I don’t have money for the fresh acai berries and collard greenslike the one’s from big mama’s house on “Soul Food” I can just sue the state for not affording me this opportunity? Please correct me if I’m wrong but last time I checked prison was punishment. So if all you eating is month old iron kids bread and tap water shouldn’t you be happy with that? Aight then Terry. So we gone pay for your frivilous arse lawsuit and your 3 hots and a cot? Good luck with that.

If you make it out of jail without meeting him ↓ ….clearly favor is truly not fair and you should praise Him.

Maybe ↑ is why Terry Nichols needs to carb up.

C-walking halleluyah dancing on Cloud 9 in my Jerusalem Cruisers,

-Favor

No Money, Mo Problems

Looks like Bow Wizzle got his wish. After bitching about his flop of an album not getting the attention it deserved, Scrappy Doo went on Twitter to complain. He stated that he was not happy about his current label situation and would like to be let out of his contract. Well our God is a giving God because the pound puppy got his wish. He has been dropped from Columbia with none other than Jim “Pigpen” Jones. The fact that Dirt MgGirk had a contract in the first place is beyond me but he always has his “movement” (side-eye) to fall back on. The only person eating over at Columbia is Beyonce, Matthew makes sure of that.

Awkward…..

This is how you know he’s a pastor. Had that been somebody like Coolio, who knows what would have happened.

Workin On The Chain, Gang

Two rappers you don’t give a fuck about are in trouble with the law. Max B, former Byrd Gang member, was convicted of masterminding a robbery. For our southern folks, Yo Gotti was arrested right after a show in Richmond. Max B had a little buzz up this way but things must have gone downhill if he’s planning snatch and grabs. I guess the only way you can make money with that crew is if your name is Jim, Cam, or Juelez. As far as Yo Gotti goes, I don’t know who that nigga is so please (insert joke here).